I actually already talked about this in this blog post, but the same content is repeated here as well.
Introduction
I’ve spoken about the internal components of ‘self-discipline’ in another blog, but if we take a look at this whole self-improvement topic from another angle, we can see that the underlying reason for us not being able to ‘stick to things’ is due to us giving in to our urges. That may sound trivial, and we may connect the dots that if we control our impulses, we can do xyz. However, that form of thinking requires a bit of explanation.
Psychologists have researched and found that opposing our urges is like making them stronger because we give it that ‘attention’ it wants (Wegner, 1994). In his Ironic Process Theory, Daniel Wegner demonstrated that trying to suppress thoughts such as resisting cravings or unwanted impulses paradoxically makes them more persistent (Wegner, Schneider, Carter, & White, 1987). Addiction research further emphasises this, where forcefully fighting cravings can intensify them rather than make them disappear.
But what if, instead of giving in or fighting them, we learned to ride them like a wave? This is the foundation of urge surfing, a mindfulness based technique developed by Dr. Alan Marlatt, which teaches individuals to observe their cravings without reacting to them, allowing them to naturally peak and fade.
What is Urge Surfing?
Urge surfing is a concept that originated in addiction therapy and mindfulness practices. Developed by psychologist Dr. Alan Marlatt, it was designed to help people struggling with addictive behaviors by teaching them to observe their cravings rather than acting on them.
The fundamental aspect of the technique is based on the ideology that urges are temporary (so real), they rise, peak and then eventually fade away, which is where the term surfing intuitively comes from.
How Urge Surfing Works
Urge surfing relies on mindfulness, where we recognise the urge, observe it, then let it fade away.
The process can be broken down into three main steps:
1. Recognising the Urge
The first step is to identify the urge as it arises. This means paying close attention to bodily sensations, thoughts, and emotions that signal a craving. For example:
- A sudden tension in the stomach when craving sweets.
- Restlessness and an urge to check social media.
- A racing heart and a compulsion to lash out in anger.
Acknowledging the urge early gives you the power to observe it rather than be consumed by it (kind of wanted to link this to “The Observer and the Observed”).
2. Riding the Wave
Once you recognise the urge, the next step is to observe it without reacting. Imagine the urge as a wave in the ocean. rather than fighting it, you ride it by:
- Breathing deeply: In other words, focussing on slow deep breaths to achor yourself in the present moment
- Noticing sensations: Where do you feel the urge? Is it in your chest, hands, or stomach?
- Labeling the urge: Mentally note, “This is just a craving,” or “This is just an impulse.” This helps you distance yourself from it
- Practicing non-judgment: Don’t label the urge as good or bad. Just observe it as it rises and falls
3. Letting It Fade Away
With time, urges naturally subside. Like waves, they reach a peak and then fade away. The trick behind this is accepting that they come and go, and this gives you a much better control over your impulses.
The Science Behind Urge Surfing
Now you might be thinking “Hey you just spouted a bunch of things but where is the scientific correlation???“. Let’s take a look at the science behind it:
- The 90-Second Rule: Neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor suggests that most emotional reactions last about 90 seconds. If we can sit with an urge for that duration, it often begins to dissipate.
- Neuroplasticity: Every time we resist an impulse instead of acting on it, we weaken the neural pathways associated with that habit. Over time, the urges become less intense.
- The Prefrontal Cortex: Self-control is governed by the prefrontal cortex, the rational part of our brain. Practicing urge surfing strengthens this area, which improves discipline.
Source: Link
Conclusion
Urge surfing is truly a powerful technique when mastered, not only does it allow you to control your urges without giving in, it also helps you to become more self-disciplined. If you are interested in learning more about this, I would recommend reading the book “The Science of Self-Discipline” by Peter Hollins.